Everyday I get emails from readers of this blog asking me questions regarding their upcoming moves to Norway. They ask about the weather, about what clothes to bring, about the food… They ask how I learned the language, how long it took me to adjust, and more often than not, they ask why I don’t write about being an expat in Norway as frequently as I used to.
Well, here is the answer:
I don’t feel like an expat here any longer.
I haven’t for a while. I think it took me about 5 months of living in Norway to actually feel like I was just living in my country, not a foreign one. It varies for everyone, of course. I know some people who adjusted as quickly as I did and I know people who have been here for ten years and still feel like the outsider. Different people have different lives and we adjust, or don’t adjust, accordingly.
Sure, I notice the rotten produce in grocery stores immediately whereas Norwegians don’t. I also get that insatiable desire for Mexican food on a daily basis whereas Norwegians probably don’t. And I sometimes stay up until 5am to watch football games, debates, and awards shows, whereas Norwegians don’t. But those differences are so minute compared to the larger picture. My everyday life here is just that: my everyday life. It is not my “Norwegian life“, nor is it my “Life as an American in Norway” life.
While being American in a foreign land comes with the usual criticism and scrutiny, it can also have advantages. I can communicate with anyone given they speak Norwegian or English, I have gotten several job offers just from being an American (the immigration department did not let me keep them of course…), and people know and understand my American-ness, whether they like and appreciate it or not. I know we have all have had our challenges here, but I firmly believe that it is easier for an American to assimilate to the Norwegian society and its norms than someone from another land, pending they try. While we do face the American racism (yes, when someone says ‘I hate Americans‘, that is a form of racism), we also have many people who like Americans because they have traveled to the US or studied there at some point and have had nothing but positive interactions with the American people.
I still carry a bottle of hot sauce around with me wherever I go. I still get butterflies in my stomach when I see that first bottle of Julebrus pop onto store shelves and this is my third year getting to enjoy it. I still think Norwegian food sucks (except the seafood). I still enjoying learning pieces of a new language each and every day. I still think the only good part of rømmegrøt is that it is completely acceptable for me to dump loads of cinnamon and sugar on it. I still hate driving and will forever be a slave of public transportation. I still wish bars stayed open until 5am here so I could watch football games there and not via my computer. But all of these things don’t feel like quirks or burdens anymore…they just feel like part of my usual routine.
I have lived here for a year and a half now and I do apologize to those who still expect me to crank out posts regarding the differences in American culture versus Norwegian culture. It doesn’t come easily because things don’t feel foreign to me any longer. It all feels normal. I am sure situations will arise here and there where I notice a difference in how things are handled in Norway vs. the US and I may choose to write about it at those times. I consider myself well-traveled within Europe and I have also studied International Business at a master’s level, so many situations and decisions made within countries don’t actually surprise me quite as much as those who don’t travel or did not study IB, unfortunately. I also hang out with mostly Norwegians, not other Americans. While I have my few good American friends here, I have learned that when you hang out with other expats, your conversations often (not always) revolve around differences in your new home versus your old one. When I hang out with Norwegians, our conversations are based around local bands, mascara brands, and who we like on X-Factor. Those are conversations that make me feel more at home, not less.
Since I do get a lot of emails from people moving to Norway, I am slowly working on conjuring up a page of Norwegian goodness, resources, and information (you can find the link in the navigation menu) for you all. And I will continue to answer any and all emails that come my way, of course. I just don’t know how good at giving information I am anymore because I don’t notice the small things the same way I used to. But I’ll do my best…
For all of you expats out there, when did your new country feel like home? Or when do you expect it to?
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{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
For me, this definitely feels like home. I don’t find it strange stopping at the bakery every morning on the way to work whilst riding my bike. These are certainly things I’d never do in the US, but it is so routine to me. I have also found myself missing home less and less – not even caring about missing events which once would’ve been unmissable. Heck, I’ve even stopped following football like I used to and I used to do it all: fantasy, blogs, reading every article on the Mannings, sports photography appreciation, you name it. It’s amazing how you can adjust to a lifestyle so different.
The only thing I have not been able to do is really shift away from the comfort of my American friends. I always seem to be making new ones. This is obviously not good for my language development either, but I’m just always thankful for whatever new friends I make here, regardless of nationality, because lately I feel like so many people come and go.
Alex @ ifs ands & Butts recently posted..karlsruhe quick view.
Such a cool post! I think it also took me about 6 to 7 months in Stellenbosch and then probably another 6 in Jo’burg, since the two are so opposite. Every once in a while I still notice something new or different, but most days it’s just normal everyday life
xxx
Jenna
Jenna recently posted..{On Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone} by Daryl
I have lived outside my home country (Finland) nine out of the last 15 years, and the places where I have lived have felt home very quick, just like now Norway. I think the key is to find the local contacts, like you said. If you only hang out with other foreigners you kind of do miss out in the everyday life of the Norwegians. That said, my close group of friends here is quite a mix of Norwegians, Brits (including my husband…), Swedes, and one fellow Finn. It seems like over here many British men have found a Nordic girlfriend/wife, and somehow ended up in Lillehammer!!
Satu VW recently posted..Life in Norway: Welcome Winter!
I think it makes a difference how long you are planning on being in a foreign country. We know that our stay here is temporary. We are also here with children. We are trying to keep things somewhat normal for them. We are trying out new traditions, but there are some things that we have to try and recreate here. I really enjoy your blog, even if your focus is no longer an expat experience.
I’m glad you’re so well-settled in Norway. I think having a positive attitude helps (even while recognizing the things you still don’t like about Norway).
I’ve been in Spain 3 years and still don’t feel completely settled. A big part is that I just moved from the south to the north (which is a completely different culture–and language!) and I don’t know if or when I ever will feel like this is “my” country…I’ll always be homesick I think!
Christine recently posted..Spain Culture Guide App
I love that you feel like a local!
If Julebrus is the same thing as Swedish Julmust (a 99% chance) I completely understand the obsession! I went to IKEA the other day and freaked out when I saw it! 6 bottles later I was one happy camper
ps. Congrats on feeling so settled! The language skills are such a big plus as I found out from my brief stint.
What a great post. I’m nervous about my eventual move to Norway (starting the process next year) – but looking forward to it. I remember being sad in Denmark because I couldn’t find sriracha anywhere btw, lol!
Its comforting to hear that Norway feels like home to you. Before I moved to Oslo I lived in London for four years and although it’s not quite as foreign a place for an American, there was a short period that I felt like an expat, but not for long. I did my masters there and we bought a place and somewhere along the lines, it became home.
I’ve only been in Norway a year and I don’t feel that way yet. I think it might take longer – part of it is just personality. I think I’m stubbornly holding on to London and Ohio as my home and haven’t been as good at finding more locals to hang out with. You’ve said several times in your posts that you hang out with more Norwegians than expats and I think you’re doing the right thing. Expats in groups only end up complaining and I try to stay away from that, but the only real way to assimilate is to find more locals.
Saleha recently posted..How to celebrate Thanksgiving in Norway
Sorry I don’t mean to be leading to my own blog in a comment I leave for you, I didn’t realize that link would appear!
ehhhh… shit.. I guess I have to admit that this does feel like home.. & I will probably be here forever. – We didn’t do a single thing for Thanksgiving.. first year I didn’t even pretend…
I still have American friends.. but spend most of my time with Norwegians… – I have been here for 7 years… I don’t think I was willing to call Norway home – until I started working in my current job.. I hated doing all of the odd jobs until the right one came along.
american in norway recently posted..Favorite Photo Friday… Faces of Thailand
I’ve never been a true expat but it’s interesting to see that you so quickly feel right at home. The place where I felt most at home that I’ve studied or temporarily lived was Spain – I love the weather, I speak the language, I know how to cook the food and I have a lot of Spanish friends so it felt very normal to me.
Ashley of Ashley Abroad recently posted..My (Very Belated) Seven Super Shots
Well, I’m not an expat or anything, but I love the way you present it so I could understand what it would feel like!!
And I haven’t been around much lately, but I wanted to tell you I LOVE what you have done with the place!!!
Melanie recently posted..What Christmas Means to Me
I actually don’t think I can answer that. It happened so gradually that I barely noticed, but maybe it was when I went back to Dublin for two and a half weeks after living over here for seven months, I missed France, I missed being here, and I guess that’s when I knew, I really lived in France. But of course those ‘expat feelings’ do pop up every now and then, and they usually involve Mexican food
Sara Louise recently posted..{notecard giveaway}
What a great read! I guess the trick is to make anywhere your home, where my hat is… Differences can be good too. In any case, we at oslointernationalclub.com made this for expats and repats that wanted to do stuff w other professionals/expats crossing that local/expat line, 30 and up, 2-4 events/month. Great fun, even with an event tonite at 6pm. Welcome and spread the word!
I still feel like an expat! =)
Andrea recently posted..Win a Weekend Stay At the Klaus K, Helsinki: Passports With Purpose 2012
What a great post, Megan. I feel exactly the same. I am not sure when it happened, it was very gradually, but after a while things just got normal. It’s so great to hear how well you are doing with the language and how integrated you seem to be! Lykke til videre
New Life in Spain recently posted..NaNoWriMo 2012 – The End.
What a great post! I’m convinced it takes a while to go from feeling like a tourist to feeling like an expat – and then to feel like a local eventually. (The first step is easy – nothing makes you feel less tourist-y than buying toilet paper and taking it with you on public transportation
) I would really love to experience that local feeling you described here too someday! Very inspiring!
Julika recently posted..Picturesque Monday: The Louvre in the Rain
It is nice to see that you adapted so easy to your life as an immigrant, or expat, to use the modern term that dresses up nicely now the immigration concept. Most people need more than 5 moths to adapt, so consider yourself lucky. I am happy for you.
Laura @Travelocafe recently posted..A Morning on Stockholm’s Royal Canal Boat Tour
I suppose since you’ve been there for such a reasonable period of time it really does feel like home. You’ve immersed yourself in the society, mixed with the locals and to some degree live like a local. Saying you don’t feel like an expat is a clear sign that you feel at home. Good for you Megan, you are becoming an authentic Norwegianer.
The Guy recently posted..The Return Of An Idiot Abroad
Great post… I think it’s good that you feel like a local. I think a lot of it depends on how long you’re planning to live somewhere for, clearly you have opened your mind and your heart up to Norway xxx
Scarlett recently posted..Alternative Endings to Harry Potter
Hi Megan, there’s something about Norwegians I wanna ask you. Do they spit? I spent a semester in Finland while in uni, and there was so much spitting going on on the streets. Disgusting… I hope the rest of Scandinavia knows it better.
I agree!! Now that New Zealand feels like home, I don’t know what else to share about it, partly because I take for granted that everyone else knows what it’s like. I still think they have the best sayings though, so I guess that will always be something to share, like pack a sad! Hilarious (means tantrum)!! Very cool that we feel like we belong, it’s a comforting feeling!
You are definitely living like a local girl!!! Thank you for showing me around the city and taking to off the beaten path destinations, loved the park! Your stories about Norway rock!!
Agness recently posted..Vang Vieng in Pictures
I agree, I’ve lived in South Africa almost two years (in Feb) and I do feel like this is my “home”. It sis where my things are, where I lay my head every night, and where my baby will be born (in March). Fairly often, I get this question from locals “Why would you live here? When you could be in the United States!” Its a tough question to answer sometimes, and other times, it’s quite easy! Experiencing a different life in a different country is an amazing privilege.
Great article and blog, just found my way here from some other blogs I read. I have been living in Asia for about 3 years and your words really resonated with me. I find it so weird that I also have a hard time remembering that this is my life and I am just living. I am back in America visiting now and it is such a weird feeling being here and not working or having a real life. I am already ready to get back to my house in Thailand and have some normalcy in my life! Such a bizarre feeling but I love it! America is cool and I missed it a lot, but I have built it up in my head too much and can now remember why I left in the first place
Looking forward to following your adventures. Cheers to other Americans abroad
elizabeth recently posted..west coast
Great article and blog, just found my way here from some other blogs I read. I have been living in Asia for about 3 years and your words really resonated with me. I find it so weird that I also have a hard time remembering that this is my life and I am just living. I am back in America visiting now and it is such a weird feeling being here and not working or having a real life. I am already ready to get back to my house in Thailand and have some normalcy in my life! Such a bizarre feeling but I love it! America is cool and I missed it a lot, but I have built it up in my head too much and can now remember why I left in the first place.
Looking forward to following your adventures. Cheers to other Americans abroad